Lemme See Your Hands….

January 29, 2009



The victory by California Lutheran High School at the 4th Court of Appeals may be a hollow victory for the cause of Christianity and private Christian high schools everywhere.

Now that the sexual curiosity of two adolescent teenaged girls has been nailed to a cross, how will Wildomar’s most famous high school (this is national news already!) deal with adolescent sexual experimentation and curiosity if two heterosexual teens (must be a boy and a girl) are discovered to be exploring each other behind the football stadium stands?  Another expulsion, followed by litigation?

Can any adult respond with a straight face and tell Wildomar Magazine that their conduct as Christian adolescents was always consistent with their Christian moral teachings?  Can anyone convince Zak that the current student body attending California Lutheran High School has no other youth with unsure passions driven by their changing bodies and developing appetites?

Thus, the ongoing hypocrisy of a church culture attempting to legislate Christian morality continues to damage a small but important portion of another generation of youth.  There may be others in the high school, struggling with their sexual identity as many humans do, that will have to be much more careful of their personal conduct, lest they be caught for not being chaste.  

Zak does not disapprove of teenagers struggling with their moral values and standards.  It is better to have moral values and standards to struggle with, rather than unrestrained sensuality.  

But “adult” leaders would be much wiser and more Christ-like by being available to all of the teens in their schools and be ready to give answers to their personal questions, even if the answer is “I don’t know for sure but…..” At the very least, that would be more human and grace-filled.

However, enforcing moral standards through contentious litigation will not bring glory to the school or to Jesus.  Rather, the hypocritical posture “achieved” through this appellate decision is likely to be mocked by the very students attending classes now.  Is each of them a virgin?  If not, shouldn’t they be expelled for failing to live up to the school’s standards?

However, we cannot know the secrets of the students. (I’m sure that the students know “who” is into “what”). The school’s leadership must now be monitoring their student’s behaviors with great zeal, given this “win.”

Zak, of course, doesn’t want to know.  But Zak would want the students of California Lutheran High School to know that their moral “failings” are subject to God’s marvelous grace and His creatures are allowed to learn and grow from their personal “failings.”

Next week, Wildomar Magazine will be conducting a national survey of the male leadership of all evangelical churches, asking the following question:   “Have you ever committed the Sin of Onan while leading your congregation?”  (Colorado pastors will be exempted for the time being).

Those who honestly answer “yes” will be forgiven for being human. 

Those who answer “no” are likely liars and hypocrites.

Lemme see your hands.

Comments may be made to Zak at zakturango@excite.com.    However, let he/she who is without sin save their comments for their hypocrisy support group “share time.”


Zak’s Early Brush With Fame….

January 25, 2009



Wildomar Magazine’s editor-in-chief Zak Turango’s life has been filled with odd “run-ins” with some famous people.  Sadly, none of the brushes have helped Zak in the least. 

For example, going through the U. S. Navy’s Survival School (“SERE”) in 1968, prepping for Vietnam duty at the same time as former presidential candidate and current Senator John Kerry helped “not a bit.” 

In fact, my political disapproval of then-Candidate Kerry is likely and greatly a result of Zak (pictured below, circa 1969) having almost nearly spent more time in a U. S. Navy hospital (Marble Mountain Navy Hospital, Danang) in Vietnam than U. S. Navy Swift Boat Captain Kerry spent in Vietnam.

Jeez but Zak digresses.  Get over it, Zak.


Back to the taco meister. Bell had built his first Taco Bell in Downey, followed  by several more in Long Beach.  See www.tacobell.com and click on “Our Company” and then “History” for the entire story.

Zak worked stealthily by cleaning up the fast food restaurant ( working “under the table,” due to being poor, under-aged and desperate for cash) and met Glen Bell when he came into the store on 10th and Alamitos in Long Beach early one morning. 

He eventually offered a permanent position at his headquarters to one of my older cousins, David, who turned him down, commenting later to Zak that he didn’t think “this guy would go far.” 

Sadly, David’s bad judgment took him to his next job packing valves in boxes of dusty, asbestos-laden filler material in a shipping department with another Long Beach company.  His death at 42 from mesothelioma (cancer from asbestos) put a sad exclamation point to his career choice.

Thus, in honor of Glen Bell, Taco Bell and cousin David, Zak is going to cook his own version of homemade tacos for this evening’s fare.  Zak’s recipe for tacos is classified but never doubt that corn tortillas, Stater Bros. hamburger (22% fat but Zak drains) and, ironically, Heinz Ketchup, also known as Norwegian Hot Sauce, will be involved.

The irony, for the uninformed, is that Senator John Kerry is married to the Heinz fortune.

Go figure.

Comments can be made to Zak at zakturango@excite.com.  Please, no recipes as my taco recipe is a family treasure and, therefore, afforded reverential status and no changes can be made.

Mufflers R Us is coming to Wildomar….

January 23, 2009



Don’t bother whining about the smell of welding fumes at the next city council meeting ’cause the Riverside County Planning Commission has already approved the plans for a muffler shop to be built and operated where a beautiful vegetable garden used to grow every year.

Sadly, even the Wildomar City Council cannot stop this project from going forward or directing it into a more appropriate “mechanic’s”  park.   However, they can “condition” the project to make certain that the proprietors maintain a semblance of propriety with their commercial impact and marketing ideas. 

Nearby homeowners and casual passerby should not be troubled by the noise of air hammers and the smell of acetylene gases wafting over the fences, into their homes and into their cars.

Please, dear council, ask the right questions about noise, hazardous materials and signage, adding the appropriate conditions to your ultimate approval, for Wildomar’s sake.

Is that the Mayor? I thought I recognized the tee shirt.

Comments can be made to Zak at zakturango@excite.com. Mayor sightings are always welcome.

“I’m Proud To Be An American….

January 20, 2009



With a tip of the hat to Lee Greenwood, Zak, Gil and the entire staff of Wildomar Magazine is thankful to President George W. Bush for his service to the country.  Zak didn’t agree with his every decision but he was our president and Commander-in-Chief.

Zak is also thankful for President Barack Obama for his service to our country.  Zak won’t agree with his every decision but he is our president and Commander-in-Chief.

Zak prays for God’s blessings for President Obama and this wonderful country.

Zak has earned his right to be proud and thankful. And to pray.


Time For A Little Civic Polish….

January 15, 2009



Wildomar Magazine was on hand for the “historic” or “historical,” one can never be certain which is correct, for the Mayor Scott Farnam’s first city council meeting.  The meeting moved smartly, for the most part, and we were completely done in an hour and ten minutes.

Zak did not have to grit his teeth during the Invocation as the courageous new mayor was a man of his word and there was no Invocation.  I silently breathed a prayer of thanks and, fortunately, no one noticed.

With the gavel deftly removed from former Mayor Bob Cashman’s hands and the publicly-pronounced absence of his former puppetmaster, the absence of any whining Band of Sisters, the meeting room had a softer, happier tenor to it’s atmosphere.  Not a peep about the cemetary district, WCC or the RDA PAC offering to build Wildomar a Community Center.

Now to the polish.  “I motion” is not a valid phrase to be used in a public meeting.  It’s amateurish. And it makes no sense. “Motion” is not a verb and cannot be used as one.  The correct phraseology is “I move”  or “I make a motion” to initiate a potential vote by the Council.

By far, however, the second best source of Zak’s internal giggle machine was the “Coolest Mayor in the Valley’s” calling a 5-0 vote as “five-zip.”  I don’t believe that phrase has ever been uttered in a public meeting before last evening. 

The best call by Farnam, a realtor by trade, was to call for a vote, stating that he had a “first and a second.”  Good mayor, Zak and his fellow citizens don’t care how the financing on your home was set up. 

Despite the hiccups, Farnam will get his cowboy boots under himself and the next year should have the professional appearance we all desire. 

In fact, I motion it.

Comments can be made to Zak at zakturango@excite.com.

Thank God…..

January 11, 2009







Wildomar Magazine applauds, nay, offers a silent prayer of thanks to Ultimate Goodness on behalf of Mayor-elect Scott Farnam for his first agenda, published on Friday.  It appears that he has intentionally deleted the controversial “invocation” portion of the agenda, thus freeing Wildomar from the overtly-Christian prayers promulgated by former Mayor Bob Cashman.

With the vast religious diversity in our country, state, county and city, where some religion’s intention to dominate society is a basic tenet of their “faith,” it is more important than ever that our government  remain carefully secular. 

You might be happy with the current “majority” religious climate until your grandchildren are forced to “accept” another’s religion.  Keeping “all” religion out of our governmental activities is where religious tolerance is enforced.

Meanwhile, Zak is trying to determine, totally within the sanctity of his own cranium, which invocation event in Wildomar was the worst;   the  supplicant who finished her prayer by invoking specific, overt  authority “in the name of Jesus” or the rube pastor who showed up late to the Council chambers, making all present, saint and sinner alike, stand by for “his” busy schedule.  Both were offensive to Zak.

Zak believes all Men and Women of God should be five minutes early or they’re considered late, although Zak may be confusing his sales representative’s work habits with those of his clerical habits.  (private note to Zak: perhaps there’s been too many careers in one chaotic lifetime).

Back to reality.  What Mayor Farnam has done is to put Wildomar into a healthy legal and political squeeze.  Mayor Cashman invoked;  Mayor Farnam won’t.  A city that changes invocation policy with each mayoral change invites trouble for itself.

It will behoove the City Council to finish their “Norming” task and make an “invocation-free” policy for the City it’s official policy.  Otherwise, there can be lawsuits by one religious group or another, claiming favoritism. Or by the ACLU.

Wildomar Magazine will support a  “Minute of Silent Reflection” before each meeting, where every individual present can embrace Diety within the privacy of their own heads. 

Editor’s update;  01/25/10: Okay, you’ve found a Zakian inconsistency of biblical proportions.  Perhaps, Zak was just so relieved that Cashman’s prayer meeting was stopped by Farnam.  Zak can change his mind, anytime. Deal with it.)

Or, if helpful to any citizen, a private, pre-meeting with clergy of their choice to release a flock of white dove or to anoint their forehead with oil or ash, as long as it is not performed in Council Chambers or near Zak’s windshield.

Comments can be offered to Zak at zakturango@excite.com but each e-mail should be prayerfully considered before hitting “enter.”  It could be published on Wildomar Magazine.

Zak Has His Eye(s) On Wildomar…

January 9, 2009




Wildomar Magazine has been accorded a fine compliment by the Californian’s longtime reporter, Aaron Claverie, referring to Zak’s alter ego Gil Rasmussen as a “City Hall observer, longtime local fly-in-the-ointment” in his piece filed on December 27, 2008. 

Mr. Claverie could have only heightened his compliment by identifying Wildomar Magazine by name in the article but then Zak’s daily readership might surpass that of, say, the City of Wildomar’s official website.  

Wildomar Magazine accepts the thoughtful accolade from a media “cousin” and promises to continue to “occupy” its place in the “ointment,” reserving the right, however, to choose the ointment and the orifice applied therein. 


“Nuff said about anonymous bloggers.

Comments can be made to Zak the Eye(s) at zakturango@excite.com.