Wildomar’s Grease Monkey Takes National Honors….

November 28, 2008



Wildomar Magazine wants to change it’s pace a bit, leaving the relentless mockery of amateur politicians and their cloying sychophants, and to give kudos to Wildomar’s very own Grease Monkey for catching the eye of the National Oil & Lube News editors, who have chosen Chuck Paramo’s (shown below) attractive service venue as the Fifth Place Winner of their national contest.  The full-sized original photo can be seen at www.noln.net.

Now Zak is all about fair play and fairness so when Zak decided that cityhood was a good thing, he decided it would now be fair to change his purchasing habits and try to spend his hard-earned dollars in Wildomar whenever he could.  So, goodbye to Jiffy Lube Temecula; hello Grease Monkey Wildomar. 

In addition, since Zak commutes to his work and his 2001 Toyota Tacoma just turned over 300,000 miles, Zak always gets his oil changed every 5,000 miles.  Yes, 5,000 miles is correct.  The first thing that Zak does after getting his oil changed is to tear off and toss out the annoying little plastic reminder in his upper left windshield telling him to be back in 3,000 miles.

Further, Zak does not appreciate the “hard sell” when it comes to air filters and transmission fluid changes and from the first visit by Zak at the Monkey, Zak has been specific about “just change the oil and filter.  I’ll do the rest on my own.”  Chuck’s happy crew of young men now recognizes Zak and respects his wishes so when the truck is in the service bay, Zak hears the chilling words throughout the facility; “no courtesy for the Tacoma.”  Of course, no one needs to pick up Zak’s gum wrapper collection from the cab floor. 

I have found Chuck and his crew to be upbeat and helpful and actually enjoy my oil change now. Chuck was so proud of his award that he took the time, during a recent visit, to find an extra magazine to show his pride in his business.

Zak encourages, no, Zak directs the readers of Wildomar Magazine to, from now on, get their oil changed at Grease Monkey on Clinton Keith Road, west of the freeway.  After all of the things that Zak has done for Wildomar’s citizens, it would only be fair of each of you to take my other good advice and change your skanky oil and filter in Wildomar’s award-winning Grease Monkey.

Be sure to tell Chuck that Wildomar Magazine sent you.

Comments can be made at zakturango@excite.com, where courtesy is our main product.


Happy Thanksgiving. Zak Is Thankful For…….

November 27, 2008



Wildomar Magazine has been in operation since February 2008 and has satirized, parodied, opined and commented on an unusual mix of events and personalities in Wildomar and the EVMWD.  Time flies when Zak is having fun.  Little did Zak know that when his son suggested that he return to blogging “for therapy” that Wildomar’s budding little cityhood would open the door to a world of change.

Since Thanksgiving is a time for, well, giving thanks, Zak has compiled a Top Ten List of things that he is thankful for and, with a tip of the cap to David Letterman, the following:


  1. Bob Cashman – if you’re going to write about local politics, who could you find that has the personality quirks of our Bob?  For a start-up medium such as Wildomar Magazine, this has been a “target rich environment” for writing opportunities
  2. Bob Cashman’s first term as mayor – Bob’s insistence, along with his rabid followers and his Puppet Master, that his “top-vote getter” status automatically granted him the Mayor’s Gavel, propelled his quirks into the forefront of our new city and into the middle of Zak’s radar screen.  However, it was Bob’s own inability to break out of his “old school” shell and learn to lead an entire city that was, ultimately, useful.  With Mayor-elect Scott Farnam running the show in 2009, Wildomar should be able to graduate from Cashman’s kindergarten class and progress to the first grade and beyond. 
  3. Bob Cashman’s short term as mayor – A special thanks to whomever had the original thought to end Cashman’s term early.  In politics, stuffing Cashman in this manner was an exquisite rejection of his “leadership.”  Years from now, while resting comfortably in his rest home, Zak will remember Cashman’s brief tenure with a big grin,  Of course, his attending nurse will attribute his smile to Zak’s dementia-liberated flatulence, not happiness. 
  4. Bob Cashman’s Band of Sisters – Zak could not have, even while drinking, created these people and their antics, with his fertile mind. It will be sad, to some extent, as we witness their diminished influence in the coming months, with the demotion of their benefactor.
  5. Zak doesn’t have to attend church – Don’t get Zak wrong.  He remains “orthodox” in his Christian beliefs.  He knows that the writer of Wildowatcher has questioned his faith but Wildowatcher wouldn’t know her faith from her *ss. Zak has, in his lifetime, spent more time in church than most of you have spent in your beds.  Thank God that I no longer have to put up with some lightweight “pastor” and his “lame-*ssed pop-psychology happy time story” that could have, should have been a sermon on God’s precious plan of redemption for a sin-filled world.
  6. Zak doesn’t have to attend church at Cornerstone – ‘Nuff said. For now.
  7. Having a wonderful 4 year old grandson, Kent Roy Rasmussen – When all is said and done and the last posting of Wildomar Magazine is written, the things that truly matter to Zak is that great little guy, smarter than his grandpa, funnier at four than most adults. Better looking, too.
  8. Having a wonderful 86 year old mother – “The Nicest Woman In The World” but nice to a fault.  She should have put a little more edge into young Zak’s critical thinking skills before Zak spent half of his life being “The Nicest Man in the World.”  By the way, if you ever sing or hear the church chorus, “He Is Lord,” Mom was the church organist who arranged the music to that popular song and was the first one to ever play the tune in public. Someday Zak will write about that.
  9. Having a great job pushing lawyers around – Once Zak found out that lawyers only have opinions and that those opinions only matter if a judge or a jury agree with them and that only then do they have any real power.  Zak loves to remind the lawyers that work for him that they are only instruments in his hands.
  10. Being in love

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, each and every one of you.  Those of you who enjoy Wildomar Magazine, thank you for your subscriptions.  The money helps. 

For those of you who read Wildomar Magazine and your stomach churns as you read, thank you for your animosity. It confirms the notion that Zak is correct.

Most of the time, anyway.

Comments can be sent to zakturango@excite.com.

RDA PAC’s Runaway Money Train….

November 20, 2008



Despite taking an “it’s no big thing” attitude, the Wildomar/Lakeland Village Redevelopment Agency’s (“RDA PAC”) vote to “cough up” and then “choke down” on a $600,000 contribution for “mythical” water hydrants to fight fires in Lakeland Village’s piece of the Cleveland National Forest, it is probably a big thing to the employees of the Elsinore Valley Municipal Water District (“EVMWD”) who may be dismissed from their jobs over this debacle. According to sources to Wildomar Magazine, at least one employee of the EVMWD has been fired from a water district job over the embarrassing matter, perhaps with more to come.

Zak has always believed that there is more, much more, to the story of how such a large amount of taxpayer money was being set up for an alleged transfer to some “slush fund” for the benefit of someone other than Lakeland Village’s hapless homeowners. Now it appears that time will unravel and reveal the truth as time usually does.

Wildomar Magazine calls upon the Wildomar City Council to be prepared to address this lack of City Council oversight of this “runaway” money train, once the “white paper” being prepared by the City Attorney is completed and a report to the  City Council on the RDA PAC is issued.  The Wildomar City Council should then negotiate a “joint powers agreement” (“JPA”) with Riverside County in order to have an equal say in how the vast sums of taxpayer’s money languishing in the RDA PAC’s bank account are allocated.

Zak, by the way, doesn’t need a white paper to know that something is already wrong with the current arrangement. But Zak is probably a political savant.

You may have thought Zak was being a bit tough on local “volunteers” with his criticism of Kami’s ongoing “offer” to build a community center in Wildomar.  No one citizen should have that kind of access to taxpayer money to even think to make such a weird and repeated offer.

However, now that real jobs are being taken from real people for their possible participation in the $600,000 debacle, the Wildomar City Council must take real steps to end this hustle. 

It’s time for the City Council to go on record for an immediate moratorium on the allocating and voting on the spending of any more RDA PAC money until an agreement is reached with Riverside County. City Council oversight won’t necessarily prevent future $600,000 debacles but, at the very least, it won’t be money spent/wasted from downtown Riverside. 

Comments may be made to zakturango@excite.com.

Mayor Bob Cashman; End of an Era

November 15, 2008



Wildomar Magazine knew that this had to happen at some point.  Of course, Zak is talking about the City Council meeting last Wednesday evening, where the Bob Cashman Era finally ended and the City of Wildomar can now start.  The “real” City of Wildomar is what Zak is talking about.

There are several appropriate metaphors to utilize here;  an empty taxicab pulled up to city hall and Bob Cashman stepped out.  Or, an empty suit. To be fair, Bob Cashman is not a bad person.  He is not evil personified nor is he an excessively vindictive man. 

His problem is that he has always managed to find a parade, formed by others, and to jump in front of it, claiming it to be his own creation.  For example, the Wildomar bell was refurbished through the efforts of others, like Gary Andre.  But you would have thought Bob did all of the work himself and none for Gary.  On second thought, perhaps Bob was a little evil and vindictive on that one.

As a result, however, people begin to assume he was a “leader,” when he was and is not.

When Bob and his Band of Sisters were mere activists, Zak did not have an ongoing inkling of Cashman’s antics. And did not care one whit. Once Wildomar became a city, however, and Bob became Mayor, the position exposed his flaws and foibles to the public. He is the poster boy for the “Peter Principle.”

Let’s examine the elements that his faithful and loyal Band of Sisters promulgated during the Public Comments before the nominations were opened.  One by one, these diminutive little sycophants took the time to read their pre-fabricated and pre-planned lists of Bob’s finer points, in an sad attempt to preserve Bob’s office.

Top Vote Getter

While that is true, that election is long past.  Should Cashman be mayor until the next election then? Or for his natural life? His vote totals were a direct correllation to the amount of dollars he raised (near the top) and spent on signs. The truth is that there was no “tradition” to his election as mayor.  In fact, if there is any public embarrassment due Wildomar, it is the fault of the other four city councilmembers for succumbing to the notion that letting Bob be mayor for the first six months would avoid any evidence of dissension in the new city.  In any event, even that failure of leadership is now past.  

Most Qualified

Sadly, this one is the lamest offerings by the Sisters.  Cashman is an engineer by training, a task-oriented career that is great at taking on defined tasks and achieving intended outcomes.  Engineers are not “make it happen” leaders, in most cases. I’m certain that Cashman does a fine job for his employer as an engineer.  It is unlikely that he will ever be the CEO of his company. 

Let’s break down the other four, as follows:

  1. Scott Farnam, our Mayor-elect for 2009, turns out to have a rich and varied resume.  Bullriding cowboy;  cheesy plaintiff expert for construction defect litigation;  general contractor and developer;  real estate broker.  There’s enough variety there to give him a sense of comfort inter-acting with the public as our mayor.  He has not been a part of the Wildomar political scene for a long time, however. His qualifications exceed that of Cashman’s.
  2. Sheryl Ade has spent years attending Riverside County Planning Commission meetings, learning the elements that go into appropriate land uses for our city.  She is familiar with most, if not all of the future projects that are currently in process for approval.  In addition, most vendor representives that have come to Wildomar since the election remark about the professionalism and polish that she presents well for herself and the city. In addition, she has been a part of the WIN and cityhood efforts, including fighting the Annex to Murrieta movement.  In fact, Zak and Ade had words in front of Windsong Valley four or five years ago. (She recalls the incident; Zak barely does). Her qualifications exceed that of Cashman’s.
  3. Marsha Swanson has been involved in Wildomar for many years, including leadership in the Wildomar MAC.  As a managing broker, she is involved in sorting out the business issues of a fast-moving real estate environment that includes the egos and mistakes of hard-driving realtors in her office.  Zak has been a realtor in the past and knows of egos and mistakes of hard-driving realtors.  Her qualifications exceed that of Cashman’s.
  4. Bridgette Moore has been involved in Wildomar’s political life for several years. She was instrumental in getting the parks restored to Wildomar.  Her courageous nomination of Farnam, given the expectations of the Band of Sisters, immediately elevated her in Zak’s eyes as she put the City of Wildomar in front her political attachments. As a result of that city-focused nomination, her political qualification just exceeded that of Cashman’s.

Most Experienced

One of the Band of Sisters, in the same breath, offered up Cashman as the most qualified to be mayor but he needed more time to get the handling of the council meetings down pat.  Folks, Zak can recall Cashman conducting Chamber of Commerce meetings years ago;  what you are seeing now is what we saw then.  Muttering and meandering is his style.  His little side comments are always followed by his own satisfied chuckle.

Sisters, you can’t tout Cashman’s experience and then beg forbearance for his in-experience in the same breath.  It would make each of you appear to be foolish. Wait, it did.

In conclusion, the elected leaders of Wildomar, the majority anyway, can now re-direct their efforts to deal with their problems with limited financial resources in the face of a state that is melting down and will try to save itself from failure by taking most of the tax resources. 

They will still have to face a wannabe mega-church’s desire to enlarge itself without mitigating it’s impacts on the quality of life for those of us who don’t, can’t and won’t attend it’s meetings.  However, all should be encouraged that the Cashman Era is over and done with.  Perhaps now, decisions will be made to benefit all of Wildomar and not just Cashman’s “friends.”

As an addenda to the above, Wildomar Magazine has admittedly taken great pleasure in mocking the First Mayor. Ya gotta love the “wedgie” thing. It was, however, fair and a part of the history of satire and parody in a democratic political system. Zak is being happily snubbed by the Band of Sisters for his fine work. 

Zak, however, asks the question as to who most mocks Bob Cashman?  Internet stories and pictures of “wedgies” read by twenty people or the Band of Sisters, including his angry Puppet Master, who have for years exploited Cashman’s personal naivete and malable characteristics, to their own ends?

Comments can be made to zakturango@excite.com.  None of the Sisters ever comment “here”  anyway so they can take their comments back to their dark and nasty side of the internet.

Courage in Wildomar…..

November 13, 2008



Wildomar Magazine wants to acknowledge the political courage of Mayor Pro Tempore Bridgette Moore on her stunning nomination of Councilman Scott Farnam to be the mayor of Wildomar in 2009. 

Her courage was validated by the dramatic departure of former Mayor Cashman’s Puppet Master, who flounced out of the council chambers before Bridgette’s words had stopped falling on the public’s eager ears.

Zak does not know her intent in breaking from Cashman’s influence but applauds her separation from his spidery web of Wildomar Past.

Wildomar Magazine also congratulates Ms. Moore on her re-election by her council colleagues to another term as Mayor Pro Tempore for 2009.

There will be no need to send your comments to zakturango@excite.com.  “Nuff said. 

What Cashman, and others, have missed…..

November 11, 2008


Zak tends to answer questions that no one else is asking, only to have his readers wish they had asked the question themselves. 

What has Mayor Bob Cashman and others like him on the council missed since July 1, 2008 when Wildomar became a city and Bob became an elected official?  Where do his loyalties lie, now that he has been elected to the city council?  When will he recognize his obligations to the community?  Who is he to serve?

Cashman failed to recognize that he is no longer an activist, leading bands of small groups around the area in a limited quest for fulfillment of some vision, goal or dream.  Cashman is unable to elevate his service from his loyal and dedicated twenty followers and begin to represent the entire community of Wildomar. As a result, he is about to be voted out of his office and reduced to parity with his colleagues (which he generally ignored at most public functions).

For example, Wildomar Magazine “googled” Cashman’s name and found the following volunteer groups that he has lead and been involved with:

  1. Wildomar Chamber of Commerce
  2. Wildomar Hysterical Society
  3. Wildomar Community Council
  4. Wildomar Incorporation Now

While each of the groups, on their own, may have a worthy reason for being, if the same persons are involved in each group and they are being led by an elected official, their existence takes on the undemocratic role of “special interest group”  (hereinafter “Band of Sisters”). Cashman continues to tender his loyalties to these groups, rather than to represent the entire community of Wildomar.

One of the criticisms of “districts” for Wildomar (I voted for them and intend to see them implemented) is that it divides the city.  However, given what Zak has observed from Cashman, the city is now divided into two cities;  The Rest of Us in Wildomar (population 26,979) and Cashmanville (population 21). 

Not only do the Band of Sisters from Cashmanville assume they have RDA PAC money to toss around (they once hefted $600,000 from the taxpayers larder but they had to put it back out of embarrassment), they “generously” offer free community centers to Wildomar as if they were passing out food samples at the grocery store.   When they don’t have money, they come to the city council and get the taxpayers to cough up some dough for their Street Fairs. 

They even have their own vulgar website dedicated to the humor-free insult of Zak and his friends as he proudly displays his First Amendment right to mock bad politicos like Cashman.

Comments may be made by citizens of “The Rest of Us in Wildomar” to zakturango@excite.com. Cashman and the Sisters can write to their own vulgar website.

Cashman Sent To His Corner…..

November 7, 2008



The Wildomar City Council meeting agenda, posted today in anticipation of the next meeting on Wednesday, November 12, 2008 includes the much-anticipated and desired vote on Bob Cashman’s successor as mayor of Wildomar.  Wildomar Magazine is finally pleased that the early wisdom of the new council is about to become a happy reality.

As you will recall (no pun intended), the new City Council met during their June 2008 “Norming Session” and agreed that Cashman could be Mayor for the first six months, acknowledging his “top vote-getter” status, but agreed that there would be a new mayor in December. 

This was designed to make the mayor’s chair be a twelve month term for the future.  It was also designed to prevent the citizens of Wildomar from suffering through an unbearable eighteen month term of Bob’s muttering and meandering style of running a council meeting.

Further, (and revealing a significant secondary benefit of truncating his term),  the Mayor’s gavel seems to have empowered Cashman’s ginormous ego to commit the following foolish actions in the name of the citizens of Wildomar, to whit:

  1. Interfering with a construction dispute between the U. S. Post Office and the EVMWD that was ultimately settled through a mediation facilitated by Interim City Manager John Danielson.  Of course, EVMWD Director John Lloyd was also trying to facilitate credit for Cashman’s ill-planned intervention.  It didn’t work.  We all know that Cashman merely held the door for all of the participants.
  2. Planning and implementing the invasion of the Wildomar Cemetary District by Cashman’s Band of Married Maids (there are some wacky spouses fomenting weird stuff in Wildomar) from the Wildomar Hysterical Society.  Sadly, this attempted takeover, by “sit-in,” of a County entity reveals the amateurish “activist” mentality that pervades Cashman’s mind and that of his Band of Sisters.
  3. Cashman’s current standing as an apparent major player in the “doomed to failure” Cultural Five Parks Center, a previously-failed attempt from Sedona, Arizona, to impose a pipedream on Wildomar that is based on that failed park project.

There is a strange connection, sensed by Wildomar Magazine’s corruption radar, between the Cashman/Moore/Cultural Park advocates, the Hysterical Society, the WCC and the RDA PAC.  All of the above are populated by the same persons and they appear to want to play city-builder with OPM (“Other People’s Money”). Or ZM (“Zak’s Money”). There is a spider-like web of Cornerstoniacs in the mix as well.

However, moving Cashman to the end seat on the council dais finally eliminates his projected “aura of power,” his self-perceived “Mantle of Benevolent Benefactor” from his shoulders.  He becomes a mere city councilman, shorn of his faux authority, with one, sometimes two, votes out of five.  Thankfully, Cashman could never count to “three” with his ill-conceived interventions and pipedream wishes as Councilpersons Scott Farnam, Marsha Swanson and Sheryl Ade stood in his way. 

For example, the “Ade Moratorium” on giving Zak’s money to non-profit organizations, supported by Farnam and Swanson,  has made the WCC donation for their Street Fair likely to be the last, if not the final, misuse of Wildomar’s public funds for such entities, given the dire economic times.

Naturally, Zak believes that Councilperson Sheryl Ade is the best candidate to replace Cashman (given her well-deserved reputation for “behind-the-scenes” preparation and hard work and her proven leadership skills) but Zak is also practical citizen and  believes that “anybody but Cashman” is a sufficient improvement to the city’s political environment if Mayor Swanson or Mayor Farnam becomes a reality, come next Wednesday night.

Comments may be made to zakturango@excite.com.  However, once Cashman is ousted as mayor, Zak may permit comments to Wildomar Magazine pieces but only to provide a place for Cashman and his angry Band of Sisters to vent.