Now, This Is A Meal….

October 29, 2008

….HOW MANY OF THESE SHOWED UP AT THE WCC STREET FAIR?

Del Monte Fresh Cut Green Beans - 14.5 oz can - Click Image to Close

THIS IS NOT!!

The WCC can stop bragging about 1,000 meals served, using “chunky-style Wildomar taxpayer’s money,” until they can document how many and what kind of cans of food and food products received at the Street Fair were given to HOPW (“Helping Our People in Wildomar”) after the event.  We all had to listen to a WCC member again blather about it last Saturday at the Strategic Visioning Seminar.  A bit out of context, too, Zak might add.

It should be simple to do. Surely you kept records, no?

If you can’t or won’t, stop boasting about it.

Please send your confirming documentation to zakturango@excite.com. Or, in the alternative, an explanation of why you can’t or won’t give Zak his information. Zak helped pay for it.

(Editor’s note:  Zak is operating from a remote base in Reno, Nevada, where he is taking on lawyers and plaintiffs in a fight over large amounts of money. Unlike the RDA PAC, Zak watches and fights over every dollar like it was his own).

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Re-ality for Wildomar….

October 27, 2008

…..NEEDS TO TAKE HOLD SOONER, RATHER THAN LATER

Zak and Gil attended the Strategic Visioning Session, held in the Elsinore High School gymnasium and conducted by Interim City Manager John Danielson, with city staff as the facilitators. The session was attended by nearly 100 citizens and property owners of Wildomar.  The tenor of the meeting was generally congenial and upbeat.

Danielson opened by asking the attendees to contribute ideas and issues that mattered to them and then, by a process of affixing colored dots to the various topics that were posted on the wall, the most popular were chosen. (It was okay to vote more than once on one topic. It reminded Zak of the way we chose our mayor).

The topics with the most dots were then used as themes for breakout sessions.  Some of the issues raised were wild-*ssed and crazy while others were thoughtful and had some merit. Zak got the first round of applause for his suggestion that Wildomar should be a secular government, free of religious interference but Zak’s topic did not get enough dots. 

Wildomar Magazine will not attempt to address the specific issues raised, save for Zak once again having to listen to Kami Sabatzadeh, apparent official Street Hustler for the RDA PAC, again making his perpetual offer to Wildomar of a “free” community center from their stash of money, recently “replenished” to the tune of $600,000, “re-stored” by their own embarrassing vote to “rescind” their errant Genius vote.

And we all had to listen to the WCC once again brag about how they are feeding thousands of meals through HOPW (“Helping Our People in Wildomar”), using money from their Street Fair and Car Show.  How many cans of Dinty Moore Beef Stew were collected, anyway? Now that’s a meal.  A can of corn is not.

On to Wildomar’s reality. 

I doubt there is any adult in the country that remains uninformed as to the current economic conditions that our nation is mired in.  The full impact of the Wall Street Meltdown is yet to be known.  However, restaurants, resorts and even Las Vegas casinos are experiencing a significant drop in revenue as individuals pull back and have re-examined their budgets. As should cities like Wildomar.

However, much more important to Wildomar is the economic conditions in the State of California.  Governor Arnold is re-convening the state’s senate and assembly immediately after the election, hoping to wring some tax concessions from lameduck Republicans in order to re-balance the recently adopted state budget, already $3 Billion in the red, due to the economy.  The state will try to balance their budget on the backs of cities and counties, cutting deeply into local revenues. 

How much will the state take from cities like Wildomar?  That’s the rub.  No one knows.  One of the reasons that I voted against cityhood is that the birthing of Wildomar was coming at the start of a bad economic cycle.  This downturn was on our horizon even before the Wall Street mess.

So here’s my Strategic Visioning for Wildomar.  It is time to hang on to every penny of revenue that comes through the front door of City Hall and save it for future use. Wildomar is going to need it and every penny that might be it’s first or second cousin. In fact, the City Council should severely curtail any but the most important of costly meetings and trips to represent the city.  If Wildomar survives, there will be time to represent.  If Wildomar does not, it won’t matter.

The $1,000 given to WCC must be the last donation of my taxdollars given to any group, non-profit and/or “faith-based,” until some future time of reasonable prosperity returns to Wildomar. This concept of taking tax money to fund a small group of “do-gooders” is contrary to the fiduciary responsibilities that the City Council members have to each of the citizens of Wildomar. 

Kami’s “Free to Wildomar Community Center” can stay tucked away in his raincoat pocket for the present, as there will be no money to fund the operation of a community center.

Want a four-year university in Wildomar?  Perhaps a diploma mill, using a postal mail box in the Stater Brothers center is a much more realistic dream.

To his credit, City Manager Danielson oft asked the numerous Suggestors of Hare-Brained Schemes if they thought the City or private funding should be used to bring about it’s realization.  There were few responses. 

As a public service, and at no cost to the taxpayers, Wildomar Magazine wants to acknowledge that any private monies secured and used to fulfill someone’s civic fantasy is fine with me. 

Zak met some new friends, was ignored by those already peeved at the special effect that Wildomar Magazine is having  and generally enjoyed the meeting.  However, it was clear that we are living among those who still believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and unlimited tax revenues.

Sorry to dis-abuse you of your false hopes. Someday, you’ll thank me.

Comments can be made to Zak and Gil at zakturango@excite.com.


WM Endorses Chris Hyland…..

October 21, 2008

…..HOW COULD IT NOT?

Chris Hyland and Gil Rasmussen go way back, with Gil being, at different times and different places, her speechwriter, her campaign manager and, most important of all, her friend.

Now, to be sure, Wildomar Magazine does not currently engage in Lake Elsinore politics or it would have to deal with Elsinore’s current Mayor’s sick humor at the recent VFW Grand Re-opening, when His Honor told a joke about a recently deceased deputy who had died two weeks before in a sky diving accident.  At the punchline of the sick and inappropriate joke, the momentary silence of his  shocked audience could not have been more profound had the Mayor put his microphone up between his butt cheeks and invited someone to pull his finger.

However, the gaff was quickly covered as Wildomar’s new mayor Bob Cashman blithely took the microphone and greeted the still-stunned audience, failing to introduce the balance of the new Wildomar city council, all of whom were standing within a few feet of the inobservant mayor.  In this instance, Wildomar’s political embarrassment was mitigated ever so slightly by a sick joke.

Back to Candidate Hyland.  She’s a tireless investigator, collecting volumes of documents over the years and rarely is she at a loss for words or information.    

My only criticism of her during this campaign is that she does not wear the faux leopard-skin capri and jacket ensemble.  It was always the most stunning of garment on local television.

So, if you have fallen under the shadow of Wildomar Magazine, you have my thoughts.

Go, Chris.


Move over Zak….

October 17, 2008

….IT’S TIME FOR A NEW VOICE TO BE HEARD !!

Zak was rummaging through old boxes of documents last weekend when he found a large stack of old issues of the Elsinore Sun-Valley Tribune.  Within the pages of the paper, he found old columns written by Gil Rasmussen when Gil was first making his way into the hearts and minds of readers.  Zak was so impressed by Gil’s writing skills, his deft satirical humor and all, that he immediately made up his mind to offer Gil a place in Wildomar Magazine. 

When contacted by Zak, Gil was at first reluctant to return to his old haunts and stir up his old style.  However, Zak’s pressure, especially the part about rising above the level of vulgarity and vileness being spawned by WM-wannabees, won the day and Gil will be regularly taking his place in the columns of Wildomar Magazine.

One of the reasons that Gil decided to return to a column format is that edgy satire and parody, though effective in stirring up emotions and reactions, often does not bring the reader to a logical conclusion;  rather, it tends to push the reader into feelings that were unintended and, ultimately, useless to the reader.

As an example of future column material, read on.

Wildomar, as a new city, needs to develop fresh, new leaders and leadership skills from within the larger community. As is the usual pattern, the small cabal of activists that worked to bring about cityhood do not always have the leadership skills to make the city function properly.

I lived in Murrieta when it became a city and the most powerful political entity at that time was the fire department auxilary.  As a result, Jerry Allen, Murrieta’s Fire Chief, was elected to the city council and became it’s first mayor. I can’t tell you if he was the best mayor for Murrieta but he was mayor, in fact, due solely to his fire department political base. 

In Wildomar, activists from the Wildomar Incorporation Now (“WIN”) and Wildomar Community Council (“WCC”) are the current occupants of the city council seats.

The rest of the WIN and WCC activists that were not elected to the council are currently skulking around the city, looking for places to land in order to retrieve their lost sense of empowerment.  Some are even trying to take over the Wildomar Cemetary District and to get themselves appointed as trustees to the District. 

Suggestions for the re-formation of the Parks District seems to be a self-serving effort to put cronies back into positions of “power.” Of course, now that there is a city, the only parks that will be built will come from Quimby fees, parks paid for by those developers bringing new homes to Wildomar. It will be a long time before enough homes are built in Wildomar to fund a new park.  Wildomar does not need a Parks Formation Committee.

-Gil Rasmussen

As you can see, Gil’s columns will be more thoughtful and thought-provoking, occasionally funny and generally offering conclusions to his own premises. As always, said conclusions are then willingly proffered before a critical reading audience, for discussion and thought.

Or, if you can type, even rebuttal. 

One of the other reasons for the change in format is the elevated “threat” level created by the vulgar Anti-Zak website.  Since the writers remain anonymous, Zak cannot know for certain that references to “beheadings” and “missing bodies” is mere literature or portents of violence.  These sad authors cannot know Zak’s business background and cannot know what he would have to do in past situations where veiled threats of violence were common occurrences. 

So, anonymous writers, understand that Zak takes written suggestions of “beheadings” seriously.   You don’t write well enough for Zak to know if you’re trying to be funny.  Or not.

In fact, Zak has had a recurring nightmare where hefty women in camouflage army gear awaken his dog, Dolly, in the middle of the night and are then observed by Zak as they are “combat-crawling” across his front lawn, intending to do Zak harm.

For the present, if you wish to make comments for Gil to read, you can contact him through the editor, zakturango@excite.com.  The staff of Wildomar Magazine always welcomes your comments.


A Tale of Two Cities……

October 12, 2008

…AS DEFINED BY A PLANNING COMMISSIONER APPOINTEE

Harv Dykstra, newly-appointed Planning Commissioner for the City of Wildomar, during his recent City Council Public Comments in an attacking defense of himself in the light of  allegations that his property near Baxter Road is non-conforming and in violation of county and city ordinances struck a prominent and repetitive chord with Zak that seems to run throughout various pockets of the city. 

(Ed. note:  Harv is currently in the process of working with City Hall to secure waivers and permits to bring the various code issues into conformity with ordinances that govern property usage).

First, Harv told about how many years he has been a resident citizen in the then unincorporated community of Wildomar and, as a result, should be exempt from new rules. The County is unfair and some local rat is snitching to Code Enforcement about others like Harv, over 200 times in the recent past.  (Sounds like an unintended argument by Harv for a strong planning commission).

But Harv is not the only one to use such an argument.  The Wildomar Community Council (“WCC”) believes that we all should support their WCC Street Fair with “up to $1,500” of Wildomar’s very limited resources for their little party to feed people in Lake Elsinore and Wildomar, using the same logic. 

Surely, given the current economic situation, no one knows how much money Wildomar will have to operate on in the future.  The WCC feels entitled to take this money. Fortunately, a “moratorium” on their raids should stop them until some rules are put in place.

Second, he described all of the labors that he has exerted on behalf of the community during those many years and, as a result, should be exempt from new rules.   Perhaps a General Amnesty should be implemented for all code violators if they can produce a document that shows that they have been continuously violating codes prior to 1990 “and,” this is important, they have been a part of some activist committee during that time.

Finally, as Zak listened intently, waiting breathlessly (and in vain) for an appropriate withdrawal by Harv of his application and appointment to be a Planning Commissioner,  the culmination and conclusion of Harv’s arguendo is that there are two cities of Wildomar;  those citizens of Old Wildomar, like Harv, that have been here a long time and did lots of stuff and, therefore, he and they are entitled to living by a different standard than that applied to the “late-comers” and “new-comers,” who are a part of New Wildomar. 

Apparently, there is no good reason for Harv to consider his long-standing conduct as detrimental to the City of Wildomar as he intends to take the dais of the Planning Commission and enforce ordinances and code on those property owners that would bring their own dreams and plans before this city.

Wildomar Magazine will, once the Commission is seated, initiate a Lawsuit Pool so we can all guess when the first lawsuit will be filed against the City for the Planning Commission’s hypocrisy when they impose strict conditions on some new guy who reads Wildomar Magazine. Of course, when that happens, Zak will be blamed.

The Lawsuit Pool will not have a monetary element, as is usual, and is for entertainment value only, as it is not permitted by city ordinances. 

You may write to Zak at zakturango@excite.com with your best guess but only if you live in New Wildomar.  Citizens of Old Wildomar have no sense of humor.


In Case You Never Got the Message….

October 10, 2008

Gil Rasmusssen holds his sleeping grandson, Kent Rasmussen, as they take a beak from standing in the long line of people waiting at the Indian Wells Tennis Center to go through a security screening before being bused to the church for the public viewing of former President Gerald Ford in Palm Desert, Calif., Friday, Dec. 29, 2006. (AP Photo/ Mark Avery) From AP Photo by Mark Avery.

….ZAK TURANGO IS GIL RASMUSSEN AND VICE VERSA

Wildomar Magazine is written by Gil Rasmussen (shown above with the world’s most wonderful grandson), using a literary device known as a nom de plume.  I would have used the name Mark Twain but it was already taken.  I have never hidden my identity.  I am not responsible for anyone’s inability to separate the identities due to their own feebleness.

I openly attend as many city council meetings as I can (I do have a job that requires my time and talents in other locales).  You are welcome to approach me and ask questions or you are welcome to turn your head and ignore me, like some small persons do. I always take that treatment as a sign that my message is being heard by the persons that I want to address. 

I have been involved in Wildomar community activities since the middle ’90s.  In fact, my community service pre-dates that of all of the current city council members, save for Bob Cashman.  I even had membership in Bob’s Wildomar Chamber of Commerce at one sad point in Wildomar’s history when there was no “commerce” for Bob to chamber.

I was the prime contributing writer for Elsinore Magazine from it’s inception until it’s work was completed in 2004. Gil Rasmussen is still reviled in some places in Elsinore. Zak Turango was created during those years as a means of keeping fictional writing separate from the day-to-day stuff that we posted on EM.

The above information is provided as a contrast to a current Anti-Zak blog that you can find at www.wildowatcher.wordpress.com.   Just click on the link and you’ll be there. Be sure to take a look at their early postings.  Be certain to have a vomit bag close by, though.

I have to give credit to the editors of WW for their latest blog.  It has a hint of potential for stirring the political pot to some extent.  If that were their initial offering, they might have a future but is isn’t and they don’t.

Of course, it will never match Wildomar Magazine ’cause the writers aren’t funny. 

Further, it can never match Wildomar Magazine because Gil/Zak’s humorous style does not include violating one’s personal life and making lewd, sexual comments about a woman’s personal life.

Finally, they can never match Wildomar Magazine because the editors are anonymous.  No one in the public knows who these people are.  Now, Zak/Gil has been told who “they” are by several reliable sources and his own investigation tends to confirm their identities but we will permit the process of discovery to lead them to provide this knowledge to the community.  At that point, public humiliation is an option and, perhaps, inevitable.

Once they do admit to being the editors, however, they may have to forego any further public involvement in Wildomar, given the vulgarity and anti-woman content of their first posts. Future apologies to their female target may be meaningless, given the depraved manner of her treatment.  They will never be able to eliminate the stench of their vile commentary. Their spouses and fellow church members might be appalled at their vile, un-christian screed.

You may be contact Zak at zakturango@excite.com.  You may address Zak as Gil, if you wish.


Week One Of The Cemetary Invasion….

October 3, 2008

…HAS IT ENDED YET?

Zak hasn’t read in any of the local papers that the invasion of the Wildomar Cemetary by the Female Space Invaders has ended.

He awakened early this morning with horrific visions of the tattered heroines, hungry and disheveled, gallantly holding out for the sanctity of their quest. 

So far, no one is quite sure what their quest is all about but Wildomar Magazine will try to interview their feckless leader, Historical Society President Bob Cashman, shown below at college (history major?), and find out what he intended with the invasion.

Please send food and water to the heroines, if they’re still there.

You may send your comments, along with a tin of Spam, to zakturango@excite.com.  He’ll attempt a stealth resupply mission during the next dark moon unless someone informs Zak that they’ve already been rescued.