Zak Injured in Chino Hills Quake……

July 30, 2008

EXCLUSIVE TO WILDOMAR MAGAZINE

At 11:49 this morning, Tuesday, July 29, 2008, while sitting at his third-floor desk in Brea, California, shown above, Zak Turango was rudely tossed into the air by the effects of a 5.4 “upthrust” earthquake, centered in nearby Chino Hills.  (Zak estimates that the Richter Scale reading in his cubicle to be at least 6.2).

While momentarily floating in the air from the “thrust” of the temblor, Zak observed his voluminous case files being ejected from their shelves and floating in the air, then suddenly crashing to the floor as Nature’s gravitational suction easily parried Nature’s thrust. 

Extending his right hand on his desk top to steady himself, Zak felt sudden, intense localized pain to the index finger of his right hand.  Turning to see the source of the pain, Zak observed the flat-screen computer monitor atop his desk had fallen forward, striking and pinning the last joint on Zak’s digit to the surface of the desk.

Adroitly extricating himself from the grasp of the monitor and other debris, Zak resorted to his escape and evasion techniques and instincts, borne of necessity while serving in Vietnam,  as if he were again hastening to the protection of a bunker when enemy rockets were approaching. 

This day, however, Zak merely wanted out of the damaged building and hied to a place of safety in the parking lot. The falling building materials were only given the slightest opportunity to strike Zak’s little bald spot on the back of his gi-normous Norwegian head.

As he was leaving the disheveled, debris-strewn office, Zak observed a young office worker, leaning against a wall in obvious distress.  Zak heroically inquired if she were injured but she replied that she was merely upset.  Had there been a visible injury, Zak would have hoisted the woman onto his wide shoulders and instituted an unlady-like “fireman’s carry” and taken the victim to safety on the ground.

Zak then took the proper escape route in accordance with common sense decisions, utilizing the stairway rather than the elevator.  When he reached the ground floor, the ceiling joint that joined with other structural materials in the stairwell was severely displaced, suggesting that the quake had wreaked serious structural damage to the building.

After the building has been inspected by the appropriate civil engineers, Zak hopes to return to his duty station in the morning and will try to capture the extent of the damages with his official Wildomar Magazine digital camera. 

Zak has not sought any medical treatment for his injury, preferring to monitor the joint for any further pain or swelling.  Besides, Zak is a tough guy on the exterior, although a notorious “puff ball” when it comes to his friends and loved ones. He’ll get by on a bag of ice and a icy Screwdriver as a palliative for the pain.

You may contact zakturango@excite.com with your personal accounts and stories of the Chino Hills Earthquake 2008, knowing in advance that they will not be equal to Zak’s harrowing ordeal.


A Case of Sound Judgment….

July 27, 2008

…BY THE WILDOMAR CITY COUNCIL MAJORITY

When Zak attended his very first City Council-elect meeting, he observed the selection of the Public Works firm, InterWest Group, in a 3-2 majority vote.  Marsha Swanson, Scott Farnam and Sheryl Ade outvoted Bob Cashman and Bridgette Moore, who each voted for Charles Abbott Associates (more later).  It was clear that the city council-elect was sharply divided as to whom was to be chosen to assist the new city in it’s formation.

From that selection, according to Wildomar Magazine sources, InterWest utilized the process known as “networking” and pointed the City Council-elect in the direction of John Danielson, contemplative and pensive,  as shown below,

for the role of interim City Manager. Zak knows about city managers, good and bad, and John is one of the good guys, seen below in his “sporty” mode.

Subsequent to Danielson’s hiring, on an interim basis, the Council-elect also selected PMC for their planning department and Steve Stark as Finance Director. Each has turned out to be a positive force within the city’s development.

Rather than being a negative that these entities had prior working experience with one another, it has been a positive for the City in that they were already familiar with the attributes possessed individually and as a team.  Networking has saved Wildomar from wasting time and money on the hiring of “unknowns.”

Recently, there have been negative comments, citing the admitted connection that each of the above entities may have had with the City of Elk Grove, where Danielson was formerly the city manager. 

However, the judgment of the Council-elect majority has been vindicated.  The startling success of the City of Wildomar, the apparent ease of transition from county to city services and the professionalism of Danielson and his cohort should be recognized by Wildomar’s citizens and Councilpersons Swanson, Farnam and Ade are to be congratulated for their good judgment on behalf of the city.

Comments may be made but only if you already know Zak through the Naysayer Network and acknowledge his good attributes at zakturango@excite.com. Otherwise, keep any comments to yourselves.


“Stupid is as Stupid Does” (Forrest Gump 1994)

July 27, 2008

                                            

“A committee of Lakeland Village and Wildomar residents was willing to kick in $600,000 in county redevelopment funds for a water district project, only to learn the money isn’t needed,” according to Monday’s Californian.

The Board of Directors for the RDA PAC, created several years ago to re-develop the “blighted” area of Sedco Hills and Lakeland Village, over the protests of anti-RDA citizens, has now proven the anti-RDA citizens correct. Zak remembers their protests ’cause Zak was there at the start.

Had the Board required more supporting documentation, they would have discovered that “the money isn’t needed” before reading it in the morning newspaper. The elected city officials in Wildomar need to assign one Councilperson to attend the RDA PAC meetings to protect its’ citizens in Sedco Hills.  Send one with a brain, however.  Don’t send Cashman to “facilitate” this one.

Yet there may be more than meets the eye. The “word on the street” that gets stuff to Wildomar Magazine may have put the “that’s why” to the “why” question.  It appear that there may have been a developer seeking to get the benefit of the “doubling down” on the funding for a project in Wildomar and this was way to “make it happen.”

Even if this were provable, this funding request should have been stopped in its’ tracks by the Board at the RDA PAC as it should have instituted “due diligence” in their obligations to the taxpayers before they voted.  Demanding supporting documentation as to the sudden need for the funding would have spared everyone this embarrassment. 

Since everyone thought the EVMWD vs. Wildomar Post Office fiasco might have been an embarrassment to Wildomar, this display of financial stupidity trumps a water connection fee dispute by a factor of 10. Read that first line again and savor the stupidity.

One last word.  Taxpayer’s money, “taken” in a RDA process, if diverted for the benefit of a developer in an area outside of the RDA could/should result in arrests and prosecution of those involved. 

If you’ve ever wondered how “good people” end up in prison, it’s because they lose their moral compass and begin to bend to the will of others who have financial agendas.

And are smarter than they are.

Comments can be made to zakturango@excite.com.


Campaign for Mayor, Part Deux…

July 24, 2008

         

“IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS”

Can it be December already? It must be as the supporters for current Mayor Bob Cashman are already lobbying the City Council to keep Cashman in his mayor’s garb for another twelve months. 

In another orchestrated pro-Cashman event (like Zak has never gotten coordinated e-mails bashing his alleged bashing of Cashman), his Minions promoted his continued tenure, come December, during Public Comments at last evening’s City Council meeting.  When more than one person stands up to answer questions no one was asking, it means it was planned.

Wildomar Magazine wants to go on record that Mayor Pro Tem Bridgette Moore did a fine job last evening, taking the gavel as the Mayor was out of town.  She ran the meeting efficiently even though it was her first time to chair the meeting.   Zak didn’t miss the rambling musings and curious noises that usually emanate from the Mayor’s chair. There is hope for the future.

Zak recommends that Cashman’s Peeps give it a rest until December.  At that time, Cashman might still have the support of the council majority and they could return the gavel to his nervous little hands.  Or, in the alternative, another councilperson can be named Mayor.  Whomever can best represent Wildomar should be the next mayor.

However, come December, there can be no more argument for Cashman for having the “most votes” or “tradition.”  He’s gotten his shot at being Mayor. If he’s acquitted himself well as mayor, he might have earned a full term.  If not, he can pass the gavel to someone else.

Just give it a rest for now.  Early whining works against Cashman’s interest. 

You may contact zakturango@excite.com to leave your Christmas requests for political Santa.


Mayor Cashman’s Old Model for Success

July 21, 2008

        

NOTHING’S CHANGED

In his recently celebrated decision to intervene in the EVMWD vs. Post Office battle over the connection fees for the new Carrier Annex, Mayor Bob Cashman once again displayed his management style which is oddly reminiscent of his Chamber of Commerce, Historical Society and WIN days.  You see,  Bob Cashman loves to lead the parades in Wildomar and get the kudos and applause of the crowd for his leadership.  However, at each event, an empty taxicab rolls up and Cashman steps out.

For example, the Wildomar bell project at the Wildomar Elementary School was actually, according to Wildomar Magazine’s sources, mostly put together by Gary Andre.  But when it came time to take credit, Andre was not allowed to share in the glory.   Cashman would not acknowledge Andre’s work on the bell project.

Back to EVMWD v. Post Office.  Wildomar Magazine attaches a portion of EVMWD Director John Lloyd’s gracious email announcing the resolution of the dispute with the input of Mayor Cashman.  Notice, if you will and if you have the stomach for truth, that Lloyd also graciously compliments Interim City Manager John Danielson for his role. 

I am pleased to report the meeting between the District and the Postal service that Bob Cashman Facilitated was successful. The regional Facilities Director for the Postal service was very glad that Bob took the time to bring the two sides together to openly discuss the issue. The issue turned out to be mostly a problem of miscommunication on both sides, and with the passing of time it built up animosity amongst all parties.

I am very grateful to Wildomar’s City Manager, John Danielson for his assistance in opening up communication. By dealing openly, and understanding the problems as they relate to the bureaucracy of both agencies, John made a very valuable contribution to the meeting.

The Postal Attorney informed us the issue is now settled, and I’ve also been informed the contractor will be paying the connection fee and the meter is to be installed tomorrow.

My thanks to all that were involved; through open communication we have been able to avert a very bad situation. ” 

Let’s review.  Mayor Cashman facilitated.  City Manager communicated.   Lloyd’s email reads, to Wildomar Magazine, that Cashman merely held the door for the decision makers to walk through.  Sounds about right.
If you have any comments, Zak wants to thank Mayor Cashman for facilitating this morning’s issue of Wildomar Magazine.  Zak’s been taking a little heat for his treatment of Cashman and Zak wants to be fair as always.  Communication (sans Cashman’s input) can be made at zakturango@excite.com.

Satire versus Smut..You Be The Judge

July 16, 2008

A NEW WEBLOG EXPERIENCE FOR WILDOMAR

Check out a portion of the first edition of “WildoWatcher” for your reading judgment. Wildomar Magazine apologizes to its’ readers for having to include this sh*t on its’ pages. But how else, then, could you know?

Zak Is Back! July 13, 2008

Posted by WildoWatcher in Zak Attack.
Tags:

 

Good Ol’ Zak is back. Now he has a pony (mare?) in the race. Seems his latest meal ticket likes being ridden hard and put up, well, you know. Flattery will get you everywhere – but Zak already knows that. Fresh meat for an old geezer. Hey, what more is there?

But wait, there is more. Let’s forever lament Zak’s new pass for not being Mayor, shall we? Let’s see, she placed fifth out of five. That makes her the last one to cross the finish line. The little league guy nearly beat her out! Less than a hundred votes separated Zak from anonymity. Ummmm, anonymity, where the sanctity of his persona will forever reign and rule….. Whew, that was close!

But she should be Mayor. As Zak should be King. King Zak. Where his word and his views will reign supreme and be damned, off with the heads of those who dare oppose him!! That would be swell, wouldn’t it?Heaven forbid the duly elected and sworn in Mayor might want to attempt to arbitrate a dispute between key components of his City. No, he would best serve his constituents by sitting back in his closet in his underwear, eating cookie dough, typing madly away on his “anonymous” blog critically espousing the ne’er do well antics of those trying to make a positive difference.

It is cute to see the little sparkle in her eye, though.

Type away, KZ!

TTFN”

Zak understands that his “work” in Wildomar Magazine makes him subject to criticism, even mockery, since he dishes it out on a regular basis as a part of his political commentary.

However, you will never find this kind of depraved smut created by Wildomar Magazine.  While some readers of WM may find its contents discomforting, WM remains a valid political satire and parody medium, even as it portrays politicians in an unfavorable light. Zak has a long history of his own particular type of political commentary in the local area, which is unlike this new screed.

However, the vulgarity promulgated by the writer, as seen above, and the smutty commentary on a political figure’s personal life must answer for its’ own depraved content.

Zak will assist his readers in weighing and evaluating the above content, as follows:

1) While condemning Zak for supposed “anonymity,” the author of WildoWatcher fails to acknowledge that “Zak” attends city council meetings on a regular basis and he freely connects his literary nom de plume to his real identity.  Ask around and you’ll find out who Zak is. You can talk to him face to face. Some already have. Perhaps even WildoWatcher has. (If so, please inform Zak so he can re-wash his hands).

Perhaps the writer of WildoWatcher will have b*lls (or t*ts) sufficient to step beyond their own hypocritical “anonymity” and expose their identity as easily as they have exposed his/her depravity.

2) To the author of WildoWatcher: If you’re going to use vulgarity to criticize public figures in a blog, it should be funny, at the very least.  Using Zak’s standard of political humor as a guideline (an admittedly unfair standard), we all may have to wait for a very long time before we find any humor in WildoWatcher’s work. 

3)  Ultimately, the readers of Wildomar Magazine and WildoWatcher will decide the question of which they prefer; political satire that might make them uncomfortable yet makes them think or smut that simply makes them sick.

The readers will decide.

As always, you make contact zakturango@excite.com to make a comment.  Or you can walk up to Zak at the next council meeting and make a comment.  Or you can set up your own anonymous blog site and expose your innermost thoughts.


Bob “OoberMan” Cashman, Mayor of Steel…..

July 12, 2008

…STREAKS TO THE RESCUE

Acting like another comic book hero, Mayor Bob Cashman intends to interject himself into a dispute between the Robber Barons of the EVMWD and the hardworking letter carriers and clerks of the U. S. Postal Service.

According to Wildomar Magazine sources, the EVMWD connected their water system to the new post office carrier annex in Wildomar and handed their bill to the contractor, who nearly soiled himself when he saw the cost of the connection fees.  When the Post Office officials objected to the EVMWD’s extortion (have you seen your water bill lately? You’ll understand), they refused to pay and the EVMWD took back their water connection.

Showing initiative in adversity, the Post Office connected a water hose from the original Post Office to the new annex and, presto, they are in operation. But the equally resourceful water agents came back and stole the water hose…..until they were threatened with a criminal theft charge by the Feds and the EVMWD weinies brought the government hose back. 

So now, the EVMWD says they are going to cut off the water to the original building on Tuesday.  The Post Office says there will be federal agents on site to prevent the EVMWD from doing so. Thus, a standstill exists in Wildomar.

But here he comes to save the day.  Mayor Bob “Ooberman” Cashman has called for a meeting on Monday, July 14, 2008 with himself, the water district and the post office.  Using all of the skills he’s learned while looking for hairline cracks in aircraft widgets, Ooberman Bob will attempt to add to his skill sets all of his recently installed super powers as the mayor of Wildomar to interject himself to resolve the standstill.

Several problems exist for Ooberman Cashman, far beyond mythical Kryptonite, such as the clear thinking of Zak Turango and the satirical Wildomar Magazine. 

First, the City of Wildomar and it’s elected officials don’t have a dog in this fight.  It’s merely a monetary matter between the robber barons of EVMWD and the U. S. Postal Service.  Wildomar has no reason to be involved in this dispute. It’s not the city’s business. If Cashman convenes this meeting, everyone attending can only surmise that he represents the city and not just himself as a private citizen. (One wrinkled suit can do that, you know).

Second, Mayor Cashman has no authority to interject himself into this matter without having a public meeting of the city council to secure the authority to represent the city.  He can put it on the next agenda or he can call for a special emergency meeting, secure a 5-0 vote to authorize the special meeting and bring the matter to the full council for their permission. 

Third, Cashman would expose the city to litigation from the water district or the Post Office and perhaps  even the citizen that now has two lawsuits in the hopper trying to 1) undo Wildomar’s cityhood and/or 2) force it prematurely into voting districts would find a way to add a third suit.

Fourth, if Cashman conducts his meeting, the City Attorney will likely have to drive from Riverside to attend and protect the city from Ooberman’s antics. Of course, she will be able to bill four to six hours to the City for her work, an expense that is unnecessary.

Finally,  should Oobermayor Cashman conduct his meeting without their authority, the balance of the City Council should vote to censure Cashman for his conduct at the next City Council meeting. 

If you’ve ever wondered why Wildomar Magazine has opposed Bob Cashman as mayor, stop wondering. 

If you’ve ever wondered why Wildomar Magazine exists, you may send your comments to Zak at zakturango@excite.com and Zak will join you in your wonderment.