….AND SOLVES FREEWAY CONGESTION NIGHTMARE FOR CALEEFORNIA COMMUTERS
Zak Turango, editor and chief of staff of Wildomar Magazine, is sitting in an office building in beautiful Sacramento, Caleefornia, capital of the Late Great State. Given the dire condition of the budget deficit, Zak’s prophecy that the state will eventually go bankrupt and drive the business class to other nearby states, resulting in the degradation to the status of a third-world nation, Zak’s words loom, as well as portend, a dreary future.
However, there is no need for Zak to continue to suffer with the constant state of metropolitan freeway gridlock with his daily commute into Orange County in a quest for his daily bread. With all due modesty, Zak has a simple suggestion that will ease the metropolitan freeway congestion for the next ten years.
And, at no significant cost to the taxpayers. In fact, this might be handled by the Wildomar Community Council’s modest budget but only if they can get a little more “taste” of the free money handed out by the Wildomar City Council. Or, if larger amounts are required, there’s always the RDA PAC.
In Zak’s new world order, the two inner lanes of a metropolitan freeway, identified by the CHP as ”Lane #1″ and “Lane #2,” will be restricted from Monday through Friday in the following manner:
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From 6 AM to 7 AM, Lanes #1 and #2 can only be occupied by passenger vehicles whose last number of their license plate ends with an even number or a “vanity” plate.
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From 7 AM to 8 AM, Lanes #1 and #2 can only be occupied by passenger vehicles whose last number of their license plate ends with an odd number.
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From 4 PM to 5 PM, Lanes #1 and #2 can only be occupied by passenger vehicles whose last number of their license plate ends with an even number
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From 5 PM to 6PM, Lanes #1 and #2 can only be occupied by passenger vehicles whose last number of their license plate ends with an odd number.
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All “long haul” semi-truck and trailer rigs must time their arrivals and departures so as to avoid being on the freeway during the above time periods. If they must be on the road, they will share Lane #3 with everyone else.
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“Short haul” and local delivery trucks will be encouraged to alter their schedules to avoid the above time periods but they can use the freeways in the same “odd and even” manner as passenger vehicles.
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Employers will be encouraged to provide “flex-time” work schedules for any employee that commutes and uses the freeway system.
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Enforcement will be by CHP cruisers equipped with cameras to record the vehicle license plates and a time clock imprint, showing the vehicle to be illegally operating during the commute hours. The fees generated by the traffic citations will pay for the cameras and the signage necessary to identify which freeways are a part of the anti-gridlock system. (Any overages will be shared “50/50″ with Zak as a royalty for the great idea. Zak’s gotta do something to get him off the treadmill and subscriptions to WM, though appreciated, will never do that).
Once again, for the Libertarians amongst us, Lane #3 may be occupied by any vehicle at any time of day of night but drivers will have to share the lane with everyone else.
What makes the matter workable is that a number is a number is a number and recognizable in most languages, including english. Any driver will be able to understand when he/she can occupy Lanes #1 and #2 during the above hours. If they “mis-understand” once, a ticket should help them to get their brain around the concept.
There it is. Zak has cut the freeway traffic by fifty percent (“50%”) for four hours, the busiest four hours, of the day. Zak can get to Orange County in about 45 minutes, rather than the hour and a half, morning and evening. The traffic reduction strategy, once embraced by the commuting public, will reduce gridlock and forestall (an ironic term for a “traffic” article) the need for toll roads and additional lanes for the next decade.
Comments can be addressed to Zak at zakturango@excite.com. Responses by Zak will be delayed until his return from his remote reporting location. Zak is hoping to share a cigar with the Governor but will not be holding his breath, waiting for his call. Zak has not yet confirmed that Arnold is a reader of Wildomar Magazine, avid or otherwise.
